I fucked up.
That’s as plainly as I can say it. I wrote a series of tweets attempting (and failing) to satirize the setup of a book that I feel is harmful to readers and instead wrote something that was itself extremely harmful. There is simply no excuse for it. I fucked up and I own that. I know it’s only the result that matters, but please know that causing harm was not my intent and that I deeply regret causing anyone harm and am sorry. Based on the comments I received, I am examining the many ways in which my tweets were harmful to many different groups so that I can learn from this and not cause harm in the future.
I am also sorry and regret my initial responses to those who attempted to bring it to my attention. I misunderstood your criticisms. I failed to listen, and in doing so dismissed your concerns. At the very first mention, I should have stopped, listened, and acted appropriately. I did not do that, and I am truly sorry for adding additional insult to the injury already caused by my initial fuck up. I appreciate and am grateful to those who took the time to point out my mistakes both in my initial thread and in my responses.
It is especially humiliating to have caused harm to others while attempting to point out how a specific book might cause harm, and I would love nothing more than to move on. But doing so would compound the problem. Whatever shame I feel is wholly irrelevant compared to the injury I caused with my negligent words. Those who called me out where right to do so, and I am grateful to them for doing so. I should never have posted it in the first place. Doing so showed a clear lack of understanding of many issues both inside and outside of my community that I must and will work to educate myself on.
I would add so that there is no speculation or confusion, that I did absolutely choose to block one of the people who criticized me. It was not however due to their criticism. The user made it clear after the initial interaction that they did not want to hear from me or to have me anywhere near their space, but then proceeded to take screenshots of my timeline in order to ridicule me. I respect criticism and will not silence it. I do, however, have the right to protect myself from personal attacks. It is for that reason that I blocked them.
In the short term, I believe that this fuck up of mine has proven that I have many enormous blind spots and that I need to spend less time talking and more time listening and elevating the voices of other people. In the long term, I need to continue to educate myself, be more thoughtful of others when I speak, listen carefully when criticized, and not allow my personal feelings to take precedence over the harm I cause to others.
I understand that neither apologies nor words mean anything unless backed up by meaningful action, and so I will work to ensure that my future actions prove me to be better than the person who wrote that thread.